Sonja: Well I’m fierce when I see the world trying to shape my little goddaughter Lulu, to fit the mashinations of this world.

Prunella: What’s mashinations?

S: I made that up in the heat of peri-menopausal forgetfulness and fierce brilliance Prunie. I’m capable of combining two words creatively, fired up by feeling – that will never be confined to an allowable set of known words such as a dictionary!

P: mash and mechanisms, mashed mechanisms, mechanisation and…

S: Now you’re trying to understand my words. Just sit beside me and feel with me dammit Prunie.

P: OK, I’m out of my depth here Sonja. You like to start the mornings with a question. I offered one. It fired you up. I’m fine with that. Is there something you’d like to tell me about? Did something happen?

S: (Sigh!) Lulu was teased to the point of tears yesterday and I nearly bliksimmed the kid who was doing it, as well as the parent standing by and shaking their head saying: “Oh, kids”. It starts there Prunie. How do we protect our young? How do we… (stops and shakes her head)

P: How do we keep our hearts open? Make space for what shaped the ‘bully’; and the ‘bullied’. Guard the alchemy of kindness. Well that easily sets up the opposite, the ‘Be nice’ syndrome.

I think about those hinge moments when we first forget our humanity. Then close the door with fierceness to each moment afterwards that offers the choice of an alternative path.

S: Where does privilege come into all of this though Prunie? If we’ve been loved and have loved, really loved. There are many who have not known that. It’s driving me nuts. Real love is fierce, not sloppy and undiluted warm & fuzzy, boundary less and ever-understanding!

P: Well there you answered your own question Sonja. We protect our young by loving them fiercely – so that they are able to return more ably to themselves when they encounter what is not lovely.

S: And if it’s not enough?

P: We can only offer the starter culture Sonja. And we’ve got to keep loving life ourselves. Growing up is each of our own life’s work. Look at us. Were no experts ourselves. Does that mean we should all give up? Life and Love has plenty of magic. Vulnerability is in the mix from the start. I think realness about that offers a compass, and to keep choosing to return to kindness. That’s worth living for, along with taking risks.

S: I didn’t know being a godparent would make me fierce.

P: So what did you do?

S: I took a deep breath. Said out aloud: “Now that makes sad and mad!” And I opened my arms. Lulu came running. The other kid got big eyed, shuffled their feet, kept their eyes down. The parent went pale, then red in the face and was about to say something when I turned and pretty much obliterated whatever words were to come, with the fire in my eyes. I’m not proud. I’ll go back. I know what it’s like to not know what to do.

P: Funny how short-lived the pleasure of self righteousness is when you’re committed to keeping your heart open.